and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.