thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
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He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
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It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis