can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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