I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
there's paper in my vomit.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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