Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize