i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Randomize