8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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