I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... π―πππ
Do I even want to know?
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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