P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man, jail baloney is awful.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize