This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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