I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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