I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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