...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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