Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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