I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
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He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
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Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.