I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
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She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
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Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax