its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
27 People Confess The Worst Jobs They’ve Ever Had
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
25 People Confess Their Terrifying Stalker Stories
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.