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• (910): View more from North Carolina

  too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.

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• (469): View more from Texas

  Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take

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• (740): View more from Ohio

  he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.

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• (517): View more from Michigan

  But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.

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• 

  23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?

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• (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  I'm off the liquor

  (1-403): View more from Alberta, CA

  You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.

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• (419): View more from Ohio

  When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.

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• 

  These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (954): View more from Florida

  You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.

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• (716): View more from New York

  Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.

  (716): View more from New York

  The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers

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• (517): View more from Michigan

  I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.

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• (651): View more from Minnesota

  My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night

  (1-651): View more from Minnesota

  i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  you win. again.

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• (417): View more from Missouri

  You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.

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• (425): View more from Washington

  It's shark week go big or go home

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