craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
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