i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
