i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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