Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize