My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
i just sent this text using only my big toe
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
