I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
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