Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
