Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
