Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
