I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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