YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think my cat just said my name.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
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