I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
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I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
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we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?