absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?