Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
20 People Who Caught Their Significant Others Cheating and Hand Over Some Major Karma
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
33 Memes You’ll Find Uncomfortably Relatable If You’ve Ever Been Through A Messy Breakup
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity