I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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