Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
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Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.