There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.