That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.