Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.