I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
19 Of The Most Epic “I Quit’ Stories Ever
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants