Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.