no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
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dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
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he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.