he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize