On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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