You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
