She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
