You can't motorboat a personality
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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