i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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