It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
