Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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