Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
did i walk over a car last night?
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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