i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
21 Of The Most Regrettable Tattoo Ideas Ever
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him