he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize