Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Randomize
