my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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