the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
