eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
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