roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
The Olympian is in my bed