Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
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Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
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Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
It's rum buckets o'clock
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal