So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Acid is not a monday night drug
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach