Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law