I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
