Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
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