I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
These 31 Gross People Really Put The ‘Trash’ In ‘Trashed’
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
21 Bartenders That Are Definitely Winning At Their Jobs
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.