Texts From Last Night

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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.

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  (504): I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car. http://tfl.nu/on2m
  Replies (10) Good night (2029) Bad night (555) Order T-Shirt
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa

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  (601): You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa http://tfl.nu/lg9x
  Replies (33) Good night (7506) Bad night (900) Order T-Shirt
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.

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  (440): Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place. http://tfl.nu/kait
  Replies (25) Good night (23661) Bad night (1013)
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  (408): View more from California

  Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise

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  (408): Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise http://tfl.nu/iazs
  Replies (11) Good night (5029) Bad night (664) Order T-Shirt
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  (660): View more from Missouri

  We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out

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  (660): We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out http://tfl.nu/p80s
  Replies (3) Good night (5177) Bad night (1021) Order T-Shirt
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  (903): View more from Texas

  All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.

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  (903): All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news. http://tfl.nu/pxui
  Replies (10) Good night (1891) Bad night (1105) Order T-Shirt
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night

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  (314): I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night http://tfl.nu/ebah
  Replies (6) Good night (2313) Bad night (867) Order T-Shirt
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now

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  (313): Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now http://tfl.nu/t7qb
  Replies (19) Good night (950) Bad night (4421)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.

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  (717): Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl. http://tfl.nu/lse9
  Replies (8) Good night (2069) Bad night (697) Order T-Shirt
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.

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  (706): Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain. http://tfl.nu/4t48
  Replies (11) Good night (2271) Bad night (782) Order T-Shirt
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"

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  (778): I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie" http://tfl.nu/vq1n
  Replies (17) Good night (1913) Bad night (1331) Order T-Shirt
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  (305): View more from Florida

  I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear

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  (305): I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear http://tfl.nu/5rok
  Replies (1) Good night (1657) Bad night (525)
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  (415): View more from California

  My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"

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  (415): My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip" http://tfl.nu/8eaj
  Replies (4) Good night (764) Bad night (386) Order T-Shirt
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  (914): View more from New York

  Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator

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  (914): Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator http://tfl.nu/9f4r
  Replies (2) Good night (718) Bad night (217) Order T-Shirt
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  (619): View more from California

  Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.

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  (619): Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman. http://tfl.nu/nljs
  Replies (5) Good night (185) Bad night (502)

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