I wanna passion pit in your ass
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
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You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
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ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?