I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
