You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Randomize