i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize