Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
