summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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