Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
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